Cuckoo for Coffee Puffs

When Kelsey asks me if I want coffee, I have an automatic response inside of my body that says: "Yes, please." Often, I'm unaware that this exchange even occurs, and in no time at all, she sets a hot mug right in front of me, ripe for the sipping. It's a pleasant surprise, and I'm grateful for my wife and her skills with the coffee maker. However, when this happens at 3:30 AM, the result of my auto-response is far more consequential. It's currently 4:45 AM, and I have no chance of falling asleep within the next hour. My only hope is that I do not come face to face with the dreaded 7 o'clock. If I were to ever become mortal enemies with an hour of the day, that hour would easily be 7 AM, and he'd be backed up by his old cronies 6 AM and 8 AM. This is due to the fact that I am somewhat of a Night Owl. (The term 'Night Owl' is used because owls are nocturnal. Using that logic, one could refer to themselves as a Night Possum or Night Wolf, but it's hard to not seem like an idiot or Native American in doing so. No disrespect to Native Americans, of course.) So anyhow, the morning is really hard for me.

Speaking of hard mornings (That's what she said?):
It's hard to believe, but it's true that there are crazy people out there who thrive in the morning hours. When I hear the term 'morning person', I probably feel similar to a dog when it hears the term 'cat person'. I'm not trying to offend anyone who claims to be one of these people, but I can't help but notice that many of them are more obnoxious than mosquitos biting me through my t-shirt. When I walk into an 8 o'clock class and some girl comes up and starts an enthusiastic conversation about last night's homework, there is nothing I want to do more than grab her lips and hold them shut forever.

Speaking of shut lips:
Kelsey and I's first kiss was behind a 711 our freshman year of high school. I was trying to be gentlemanly, so I was planning on a lingering peck, and that's it. She seemed to have other plans, and we had this really confusing mid-kiss hesitation moment. Mouths were opening and shutting in response to other mouths opening and shutting, kind of like when two people are walking down a hallway and can't decide who's going to change lanes. An unaware passerby would have probably made the assumption we were just having a conversation with our faces really close together. That's okay though. It was a great time.

I see the faint indications of an imminent sunrise outside of my window. 'Tis time for respite.